Man-Thongs: Not The Worst Things In The World, But They're Right Up There (The G-String Guy)

Some of you have probably heard of, or maybe even seen, this asshole (and his actual asshole) lounging around the Brooklyn Bridge Park in DUMBO. And if you have, you would remember it because, like blood on your linen pants, that shit doesn't go away. My friends Matt Oliver, Steve Garofano and I took a stroll down here one afternoon to toss the disc around, and by disc I mean Frisbee, and by Frisbee I mean yes - we are also part asshole for throwing a disc around in a park. But rest assured, there will be a posting down the road where we address disc throwing assholes like ourselves, because I don't want to come off as a hypocrite on this equal opportunity offender blog . But I digress...
So on this particular afternoon, we stumbled across this idiot and his yellow thong, ass side up, catching a few rays on the caboose. Now I'm all for healthy body images, freedom of expression and all that, but like anything else, there's got to be some boundaries. And frankly this guy is waaay the fuck outside of them. To partially quote the great Aaron Neville, I don't know much, but I know that this dude doesn't need to be tanning his ass in our godamn park system. Now I might be able to sympathize if his wife, life mate, whoever, was this overbearing, mentally abusive, tanning salon owner or something, and this guy was the victim of many years of abuse. But one look at this dude and you know instantly that he sure as hell doesn't have anyone hanging in the balance at home, waiting for him to walk in the door and make sure that his ass shade matches that of his lower back and upper thighs. The point being that this guy is doing this thing of his own free will, which is just all the more frightening.
If you look closely you can see in shadow, snapping this photo. Now it may look like I'm holding the camera up to my eye, but in fact I shot this picture from about neck level. The hand that looks like it's holding the camera to my eye is actually shielding my eyes from this dude's ass, which if you can't tell, is completely exposed and horrible. Did I mention that this guy was tanning his ass? Just want to clarify that point.

And to add insult to injury, he was wearing some kind of floppy, cotton hat, that looks like a cross between what a French Legionnaire solider might wear and some dipshit who's painting your garage. And I shit you not: the guy looked exactly like that Buffalo Bill guy from Silence of the Lambs. Coincidence?